Quote from: Pleb with a Pen on October 22, 2019, 04:15:52 pmTwo weeks passed already, huh? Sorry for not responding earlier(again). I agree it's pretty sad that no one responded for so long. I guess we can go out searching for another writing forum?It's only supposed to be north of the mountain range. Good catch. And as for the city size, I never was good with demographic realism. You make very good points.
Anyway, I finally got around reading all of your story and I gotta say, I am surprised at how in depth you went and I really like it. There are mainly two things stuck out to me. First, the combination of Gothic architecture and bright and blue colours(like in greek islands). It's not negative, it just was kinda hard for me to visualise. Second, the size of your city and all the places/areas are impossible to exist together. Your city is simply too small to have slums for example, unless something went extremely wrong which I find unlikely. I live in a city of a bit more of 10k people and we barely have two hotels which are nothing special. I suggest you add another digits on that resident count.
I also underlined a point where I believe you made a mistake in using both south and north for the Serada mountain range, although this can be my mistake in understanding.
Quote from: FurrySlime on August 08, 2019, 07:53:38 pmFor all you forum phantoms out there, I removed Samael because he was too complicated. I'll still complete the battle between him and Jump, and add that to the Tales of Light and Shadow.
I'll replace him with a gladiator pair that are much simpler for me to write with.